Let's Talk Turkey

I am glowing with anticipation! This is one of my favorite times of the whole year! I love autumn, when the leaves change and the air grows crisp and one is drawn to the hearth, the crockpot and the down comforter. I love fall because my birthday is in the fall and I love to celebrate another year of staying alive and well. I love fall because of  our family tradition of making chili and snickerdoodles and going trick or treating together with my six foot four inch cousin dressed up in his gorilla costume and the kids laughing with sugar coated glee. And, I ADORE Thanksgiving! It is hands down my favorite holiday. I love to watch all the great cooking shows and get tips and recipes and ideas for Thanksgiving meals. I love to get in the kitchen and make good stuff, I love to eat brunch with my husband and kids and watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade on television. (I dream of someday being there in person for the parade!) I like seeing happy stories on the news about people helping folks who don't have as much as they do and who enjoy sharing what they can to make sure everyone has something to be thankful for. I love getting together with my family and eating great food and giving thanks for my many, many blessings. I love the idea that on this one day, regardless of faith or creed, all Americans stop and consider how much they have to be thankful for. Oh, the joy of counting your blessings!
Now, let me tell you what I don't love. In fact, what I loathe. I ABSOLUTELY HATE that this wonderful, beautiful holiday gets overlooked and lost in the black hole of "retail hell." I detest seeing the Christmas ads come out and the stores putting Christmas merchandise out the minute Halloween passes. Throw out a few token turkey plates and napkins and call it a day. I hate that my kids haven't even eaten all their Halloween candy when the toy catalogs start flooding the mailbox. I despise when people are already putting their trees up and doing their Christmas shopping when November has barely been ushered in. Is it really necessary to drag folks away from their families on Thanksgiving night so that some people can hit the stores foaming at the mouth like rabid wolves looking for the "best deals of the season?" Don't even get me started on that one...mall marauders exemplify the worst aspects of humanity.Some stores are even staying open on Thanksgiving day now. It's criminal!  Really, what is so awful about waiting a few more days?! We're not talking about a huge chunk of time here people! Let the turkey have his day! Santa will get his time! Can't we just calm down and wait until after Thanksgiving?! I was thrilled to hear Nordstrom come out and say that this year, as in recent years, they will not be decorating for Christmas until after Thanksgiving. HALLELUJAH! One retailer who is willing to give the turkey his due! How about you? Do you love Thanksgiving and see it as a valuable and venerable tradition? If you feel like I do, send retailers a message. Save your Christmas shopping for the Christmas season, and let everyone enjoy turkey day at home with their families being thankful for all their blessings. I, for one, will be thanking God for autumn leaves, fall breezes, warm fires, cozy beds, hot chocolate with marshmallows, fuzzy slippers and folks to enjoy them with.

THANKSGIVING FOREVER, RETAIL DOMINATION NEVER!!!!

Making Do With Less

Ever been in the bathroom, "doing your business" only to discover that there are exactly 12 squares of toilet paper left on the roll and no access to another roll? Amazing what you can do with those 12 squares isn't it? Sure, you usually use at least double that, but man, how resourceful you can be when absolutely necessary. I think that kind of represents what a lot of us have been having to do for the last couple of years. With the down turn in the economy, we all have been forced to cut back or at least examine and reorder our priorities in one way or another. My husband works in a business that is very subject to the up and downs of the economy. We always have "fat" years and "lean" years. Man were the fat years fun! Indulging all your whims-dinner out at least 3 nights a week, clubs every weekend, biweekly shopping excursions at the mall, weekly salon appointments, fancy foreign vacations...what a blast! But, all good things must come to an end, right? The last couple of years we have had to cut back in different areas. Don't worry, we're not suffering- in fact, we have discovered that some of the things we used to spend our money on are not that hard to live without. Dinners at upscale restaurants, movies in the theater, fancy vacations...those things are definitely fun, but they aren't necessary. If you work at it, you can find plenty of inexpensive or even free fun stuff to do. In fact, we've discovered new happiness in the simple things in life. It's like the kid that gets a fancy toy only to play with the box. My son has made houses, cars, submarines, trains and more out of a plain cardboard box. All he did was engage his imagination. As adults, sometimes we forget to use our imagination, or we use up so much of our energy on the "daily grind" that we are simply to tired to think creatively. However, there are those that when given lemons, know how to make lemonade. The media is full of stories of folks forced into thinking outside the box to cope with the economy- 50 year olds changing careers, moms "extreme couponing," businesses cutting expenses without having to cut employees by doing away with frivolous perks and out of control expense accounts, people carpooling, folks taking "staycations." It's a matter of being resourceful and making the most of limited resources...like that last 12 squares of toilet paper. Amazing what you can do when you have to isn't it?

RESOURCEFULNESS FOREVER, GIVING UP THE GOOD STUFF NEVER!

The Enlightening Amusement Park

Today my husband, children, parents and I went on our annual excursion to an area amusement park. We go every year on a certain day, and have been doing this since I was a little kid. I remember being my sons age and how exciting it was and what I liked and didn't like. (One thing I liked, and always wanted was one of these huge paper roses, about 16 inches in diameter, but my mom always refused to shell out the stupid amount of money for said tissue paper rose, which may have scarred me permanently, but that's a tale for another time!) Now I get to go and see my parents enjoy watching their grandchildren ride the rides and eat the junk food and play those ridiculously expensive games and all those amusement park things. This year, my son has grown too tall to ride some of the rides in kiddie land, which makes me somewhat sad as it makes me realize how fast time travels and days go by and kids grow and change. My daughter is the one who really made me think this year though. This year, a whole year older than last, she was much more aware of things going on around her and was able to scope out the rides and choose which ones she was interested in, which was most of them. Where my son is timid and extremely cautious, my daughter is mach 2 with her hair on fire flat out goin'. Watching her run gleefully from one ride to the next, asking "where now mommy?" was so much fun. Seeing the smile on her face, hearing her little belly laugh as she held up her hands on the roller coaster brought me such joy. She's never been on a roller coaster before, but she was so open to trying it and so unabashedly enthusiastic, that it was contagious! I looked at her, wanting to freeze the moment in time because it was so full of joy and fun. The merry-go-round, the flying swings, the helicopters and race cars- all held a new adventure, excitement and joy. It was a day that I will always remember and picture in my mind, even when my daughter is all grown up. It gives me such joy and at the same time makes me want to cry because I know there will never be another day just like this one...time travels, days go by, kids grow and change. To those who contemplate never having children, which I admit, I at one time did, this is the kind of day that you can't fully explain or put into words when you are trying to convince someone that children are the most wonderful, magical, fun thing in the world. They pain you sometimes, and try your patience pretty much daily, but nothing is worth it like the payback you get when they wrap their little arms around your neck and plant a big kiss on your lips and say "I wuv you mommy!" or when they concentrate so hard on a crayon picture and then bring it to you pronouncing that it's you. I really love when I go somewhere and upon my return after, say, just a couple of hours get a running hug and greeting like I've been gone for days.And then there's the payback you get totally unexpectedly on magical days at the amusement park...thank you God for this day.

MAGIC FOREVER, GROWN-UPS NEVER!

TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL

SIMON SAYS

IT'S A CHALLENGE- CAN YOU CUT IT?

Recently I was having a discussion with a friend of mine who was unpopular with her teenage daughter because she had decided not to let her daughter go somewhere with a friend, especially once she found out that the other parent would be dropping the girls off and not staying to chaperone. The "somewhere" in question is no place for unattended teenage girls, I assure you. My friend was not relishing the coming discussion with her daughter, and the inevitable unhappiness and teen drama that would ensue. However, I know she will stick to her guns and do the right thing, whether it's popular or not. This episode exemplifies for me a pitfall that my friend refused to fall into, but that many parents seem to- one of the worst mistakes you can make as a parent- not being a parent. When you become a parent, you are responsible for the physical and emotional well-being of your child. That means doing what is best for them, whether they like it or not. When they're babies you make them eat their veggies. When they are in school you make them do their homework and take showers. When they are teens, it is up to you to keep track of them and know who they're with and what they're doing. That is parenting.  You are not your child's friend, and to trying too hard to be a friend is compromising your job as a parent. When your children grow older and more independent your job gets even harder as you do your best to guide them into the right choices. Sure, it's great to maintain an open dialogue and show respect to your child for their opinions and choices, but that doesn't mean that you aren't still in the driver's seat. I see folks try to be buddies with their kids instead of parents, and the result is a child who lacks clear direction, and a healthy respect for their parents. They tend to make poor choices because they have not been given a clear set of standards and rules to live by. Kids may act like they hate rules, but the truth is they thrive on a routine, and a well established and enforced set of rules. This is not a popularity contest. It is a job, it has rules, and you are the enforcer. I had friends in high school whose parents let them have parties with drinking, let them stay out as late as they wanted and didn't ask a lot of questions about where they were, what they ate and if their homework was done. They were the "cool" parents. My parents were not at all cool. Not even close. They were always making me eat healthy, checking on my homework and insisting on meeting my friends AND their parents to make sure we were all "on the same page." Boyfriends? They were submitted to the dreaded "meet the parents" session before I was even allowed out of the house with them. What a drag! But, over time, you know what I noticed? The kids with the "cool" parents ultimately felt ignored and sad because their parents didn't seem to really care about them. They would end up pulling stupid stunts just to get attention from mom and dad. I, on the other hand, had rules and expectations and curfews. I was extremely loved...what a drag, huh?


RULES RULE!

Ritual dining

Missing the Ritual

I love food. I love to cook it, watch shows about it, and especially eat it. I also realized recently that although the food is certainly important, it is the ritual that I really love. I love to watch shows like Anthony Bourdain, and Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern. They are food shows, but they are travel shows as well, so we get to live vicariously through the hosts to see exotic locations, interesting people, and sometimes odd and, frankly, not tasty foods. One thing that I have noticed is that whether the countries they visit are wealthy or poor, or the people are sophisticated or primitive, food plays an essential part of their lives, and not just because it's necessary to sustain life. It doesn't matter if it's a 4 course meal in Italy, or one fish shared in Zimbabwe- it's the rituals involved- the gathering of family and friends, the traditions passed on from generation to generation. Think about your family and what traditions you have that involve food. Birthday dinners where mom makes whatever you want. The family Christmas celebration that wouldn't be the same without Aunt Betty's cranberry salad. The summer picnic that must be held in Uncle Bob's yard and must include cousin Ann's potato salad. These are traditions and you associate certain foods with them- it just wouldn't seem right without them. But, if you stop and think further, the most important part is not what you eat, but whom you are eating with. Sure, Aunt Betty's cranberry salad is important, but it wouldn't be the same without Aunt Betty, right? The truly essential element is the gathering, the sharing of stories, being with people you care about, making memories. I personally believe that this kind of interaction is important to make a part of daily life, not just special occasions. I fear that in this world of fast food and hectic schedules, the rituals of family dining have fallen by the wayside. The thought makes me sad. Sitting down to dinner as a family, sharing your thoughts, talking about your day, laughing together- this is strengthening the fiber of the family. If you can make a tasty, healthy meal, that's all the better, but if you can't pull that off every night, or most nights, at least sit down and share the meal- even if it's not gourmet fare. Your kids may well remember Friday night pizza night as their favorite, because everyone sat down together and shared time. Chances are they won't remember a drive thru meal or a sandwich gulped down in front of the t.v. We may not all be the "Next Food Network Star," but hey- if Rachael Ray can whip up something tasty in 30 minutes, so can we! So, I say, let's revive the ritual! Clear off that dining room table, set out the dishes, and SIT DOWN AND EAT! Talk, laugh, share. Make the time, because none of us know how much time we really have to share.

BON APPETITE!

Happy 4th of July!

SIMON SAYS

Do you realize how lucky you are to be an American? The freedoms and quality of life we enjoy in this nation are quite amazing, and we should be thankful every day. But, we're not. Truly, we carry on with our business each day taking so many things for granted. Like a child who thinks that everyone lives just like they do, we don't even stop to think what folks in other places live like, we just trip merrily along doing all the important, necessary and occasionally exciting things that comprise our lives.
How spoiled we are really hit me the other day at the grocery store as I was scanning the cereal aisle looking for a particular kind of cereal. Suddenly, I was quite overwhelmed by the number of choices laid out before me. I thought to myself "there are people in the world starving, and I am here trying to decide which of the gazillion types of cereal we're going to eat this week. What's wrong with this picture?!" So, I started counting, just out of curiosity, and do you know that there were approximately 63 different kinds of cereal?! Are you kidding me?! And that's not even counting generic versions. That means we can have a different kind every week for a year and still not have tried them all! No wonder I see people in the grocery store wandering the aisles looking bewildered, and frankly, in the male population, downright frightened. We should be scared! 63 choices, and that's just the cereal aisle! While there are people out there wondering where their next meal will come from, if  they will have one, we're stuffing our faces with cocoa crispies. AMERICA- WE ARE SPOILED ROTTEN! I remember when I was a kid, a priest talking to us about a missionary trip that he took to Africa. He was on a bus, eating a banana. He threw the peel out the window, and watched in horrified amazement as a dog and child ran up and started fighting over the banana peel. He said that was when it really hit him how poor and hungry these people really were. We really don't understand how fortunate we are. Even our poor are much better off than a lot of folks in other countries. I was inspired to look up some information to see statistically how we compare with the rest of the world. I'm not just talking about what we would consider to be poor countries, but countries that you would probably consider "on par" with us. Now, I am by no means saying that money is everything, but you must admit, you like having more rather than less of it, don't you? Did you know that the 2011 median income in the U.S. is $46,326? Now, consider this: according to 2007 numbers, here is the median household income for some other countries:

Italy: $16,866
Japan- $19,432
United Kingdom- $25,168
France- $19,615
Spain- $18,391

Are you feeling lucky yet? Now, consider, that the 2009 poverty level guideline for a family of four in the United States was $22,050.00. Compare that to the numbers above. If you're still not feeling lucky, how's this for a statistic: the average family in Uganda brings home $320.00 a year. Yep, that's right, $320.00. You probably spend that on going to the movies. Or, if you chose, you could buy about 80 boxes of cereal with that money...but you only have 63 different kinds to choose from, so you'll have to eat the same kind a few weeks out of the year. You poor thing!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!
GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Welcome to Planet Nimrod

Recently, I took a vacation with my husband and kids, my parents and my brother and sister-in-law. A very nice vacation, one that we take annually to the beach. My dad does not like to fly, so my parents, the kids and I drove. 600 plus miles one way. When you take a road trip like this, you get to observe a lot of humanity. I discovered that there is no vacation from stupidity. Selfishness either. It would seem that there are an awful lot of people who think they are the only ones on the planet. You know what I'm talking about. The person going 55 in the high speed lane, causing traffic to slow and forcing everyone to pass them on the right while they continue to plug along, glancing constantly in their rear view mirror as if they can't believe you are there, then looking down at their speedometer. Guess what? I don't care how fast you are going! I'm going faster, so get out of my way! I don't care if you are going 100! If I come up behind you and I'm going 110 GET OVER! Of course there's the guy who rides the left lane no matter what, never looks in any of his mirrors and is completely oblivious as to the existence of other life on earth. I'm really not sure which one is worse, but I want them both out of my way! Then, when you go to the supermarket there is the person who stops their cart in the middle of the aisle and proceeds to stare open-mouthed at all the items on the shelves. Looking overwhelmed and perplexed. Smack in the middle, so no one can pass on either side. Again, Mr. or Ms. Oblivious has no clue that there are 3 other folks in the aisle attempting to maneuver their carts around their cart. A polite "excuse me" gets you a startled jump. You mean to tell me there are other people here? How alarming! I arrived at the beach, ready for some sun and fun. Carefully picking my spot and paying for my umbrella and chairs, all is looking good. Until Mr. Rude arrives and plops down right in front of me. Excuse me, Mr. Rude, but I do not appreciate having to crane my neck, straining to see the surf around your big fat Georgia Bulldogs lawn chair. I paid to see the ocean, not your sunburned backside. Right next to me is Buffy the teenage chatterbox who proceeds to talk loudly on her cell phone for the next 45 minutes. Excuse me Buffy, but OMG! How about next time you bring your BFF WITH you so I can at least hear both sides of this most scintillating conversation! Next to Buffy, we have shiny white bikini teenager who thinks digging a huge hole big enough to fit her whole body in is a fascinating pastime. The poor beach goer who stumbled into the hole and almost broke her ankle about half an hour after you took your shiny white bikini self off to polish your toenails did not find it nearly so fascinating. Look, I'm not saying I'm perfect, and we all have days when we catch ourselves with the "I'm the only one on the planet" syndrome. All I'm saying is please strive to be at least somewhat intelligent and thoughtful while here with us on planet earth- there's a few billion of us out here with you.

WELCOME TO PLANET EARTH, NIMRODIANS!

Life before 11 a.m.

One morning this past winter, my husband, who always takes our son to school, rolled over at the ungodly hour of 7:30 a.m. and said "I don't feel well. You are going to have to take Jackson to school." I stared at him, wide-eyed and uncomprehending. Then, as my brain registered his words and processed them, the world stopped spinning on its axis. This could not be happening! You see, I am NOT in any way, shape or form, a morning person. I never have been and never will be. Early for me consists of having to actually be up and present myself somewhere by noon. So, my husband's words were some of the scariest he could utter. However, like a good  wife and mother, I dragged myself out of bed, slapped on some makeup so as not to scare anyone I might encounter, though I couldn't imagine who that would be at the crack of dawn, and stumbled to the car with my son in tow. As we made our way out into the cold, gray morning, I was shocked to see other cars on the road. With people in them. Going places. Seriously?! Why would anyone be out at this hour?! It suddenly made me realize why there is a Starbucks on practically every corner. These poor folks who have to be out here actually functioning at a somewhat coherent level on a regular basis are going to need all the caffeine they can get! I even saw a couple of people that I knew. You mean to tell me they do this and they have never told me?! They never asked for an award, a pat on the back, maybe even a brass band parade?? I most certainly would have given them all of the above just for their gumption and bravery in facing the world at such a frightening hour.  I returned home, still stunned, to report to my husband all that I had seen. He simply laughed at me and informed me that this happens ALL THE TIME! AMAZING! So, here's to you my morning warriors! Kudos to you and keep up the good work, so I don't have to! If you need my help with anything, feel free to call me, and I will meet you somewhere at noon!

STARBUCKS FOREVER!

This multitasking is killing me! (Maybe literally!)

I have something to confess. Something that probably even some of my closest friends don't know about me. Perhaps my family does, but I'm not sure they even know. I am a serial multitasker. I do laundry while I make dinner. I talk on the phone while I bake cookies. I check email while I watch my soap opera and open mail. I fold laundry while I bathe my kids. I dust furniture and Swiffer the floor at the same time. I put my makeup on at stop lights. I paint my toenails while I play cards with my son. I change a diaper and put my shirt on at the same time, while talking on the phone with my mother. I beat eggs, toast toast and make pancakes simultaneously. I read books in the bathtub. I mean, God gave us two hands for a reason, right? The other day, I was opening mail, in the bathroom, while doing my business, when I thought: "What on earth am I doing?! Have I lost my mind? Can I no longer even answer the call of nature without doing something else? This has gone too far!" I know other women are like me- women who are wives and mothers, and like it or not, multitaskers. We have to be, or we would never be able to accomplish all that we do. I notice that my husband does not seem to have the same compulsion to do multiple tasks at once. Except, perhaps, for watching television and scratching himself at the same time. To be fair, he definitely multitasks at work, and he's darn good at it. However, when he hits the threshold of our home, that comes to an immediate end. For us women, that is not an option. Whether we work outside the home or not, we are expected to go 100 miles per hour doing multiple things at once all day long. And, come to think of it, often into the night. Motor on until it all gets done. The problem with this is, it becomes so engrained in us that we don't know how to relax. We don't know how to stop multitasking. We are always thinking of new ways to accomplish more- we even check our email and catch up on our reading while we're having a "relaxing" day at the spa. (Which we squeeze in between our lunch meeting and our son's baseball practice.)  We have all seen stories in the news about the rise of stress related illnesses in women. High blood pressure. Migraines. Irritable bowel syndrome. Ulcers. Diseases that for years were mostly the problem of the males of our species. I don't know about you, but this is one arena that I am not interested in equality. Stop the ride, I want to get off! I, for one, am going to start slowing down, enjoying what I'm doing without thinking about what I have to do next, and DEFINITELY not doing tasks while on the toilet! Now, I have to go, because I have laundry to fold and cookies to get out of the oven before I put the kids to bed.

GIRL POWER!