It's the little things

My my but it's been along time since I've had the time to sit down and actually post something! But I have been thinking, and reflecting back on something that happened a while back. The family was together celebrating Father's day, and somehow the subject came up of the husbands and wives and how one would fair without the other. My mom and dad got misty eyed and declared that they would prefer to "go together" because neither of them had a clue as to how they would get by without the other. It was quite an emotional moment, one that I had to put a stop to with the declaration that it was time for cake, before I found myself balling my head off. It made me think of another time, back in 2008. My mom had suffered two heart attacks and was in the hospital in intensive cardiac care for almost a month. The family more or less took shifts, different ones of us showing up at different times through the day, but my dad was there every day from the moment he got up until the nurses kindly kicked him out and told him to go home and get some much needed sleep. There was one day, when I was there, but in the waiting room feeding my 3 week old daughter, that Jeopardy came on. Jeopardy is one of my mom and dad's favorite shows. They love the intellectual challenge and like learning new things. So, I went to get my dad out of mom's room to watch, thinking it would lift his spirits. My dad stood there and watched a while and I said "Aren't you glad I came to get you, Dad, so you could see your show?" He looked at me, and I saw tears streaming down his face, and he said "It's just not the same without her." Understand, my dad is not an emotional kind of guy, and I don't believe I'd ever seen him cry before. It broke my heart. It also made me realize the deep, abiding connection that existed between this man and woman who had spent the last fifty plus years together, living life side by side day in and day out. I realized then and there that it's the little things that matter most. The daily interactions that we often don't even notice that build a lasting connection. Thankfully, mom and dad are still watching Jeopardy together, and all the other little things that go to make up a life.

Happy Pretty Dandelions

It's that time of year. The days are getting longer and warmer, the birds are back, everything turned vibrant green almost overnight- spring has sprung. Along with the vibrant green grass comes that inevitable pest- the dandelion. They pop up, seemingly multiplying by the dozens in seconds. My 4 year old daughter has been delightedly bringing me dandelions by the cute little fistful each and every morning lately, and sometimes in the afternoon. She calls them "sunflowers." I give her a hug and a kiss and a big thank you and promptly put them in water and place them on the kitchen window sill where I know she will be checking for them, to make sure they are on prominent display. One day recently my son was home when Lauren excitedly made her presentation of dandelions. He opened his mouth and I knew he was going to tell her that they are just weeds and that she shouldn't bother to bring them to me. I quickly, before he could get all the words out, shushed him, gave Lauren a big thank you and sent her on her merry way. Jackson asked me why on earth I was acting so excited about some weeds, and why was I putting them on display for heaven's sake? I looked him in the eye and explained that I did the same thing for him when he was her age. You see, a child's innocence is lost all to quickly, and I prefer to hold onto it for as long as possible. Lauren sees pretty little brightly colored yellow "sunflowers" where we grown ups see annoying weeds. I am so happy that in her innocent, as yet unspoiled vision she has a beautiful bouquet, as fine as any roses you could pick. As adults maybe we should be more aware of "setting our kids straight" and less ready to point out all the "weeds" in life. Like the dandelions, they'll inevitably pop up, and sometimes multiply seemingly overnight. Let them see the "sunflowers" for as long as they can! They'll find out about the weeds soon enough. Instead, let's teach them how to stop and smell the dandelions!

Tragedy Brings out the Best In Us

Well, it's been awhile. I guess I have been very busy, so it's been a while since my last post. But, given the events of yesterday, I am inspired to reflect and comment. I returned home yesterday after picking my kids up from school, on a beautiful spring day, to turn on the television and be greeted by horrific scenes of chaos and devastating injuries. I stood, frozen, watching in horror as the scene unfolded. We have had some awful things happen in our country lately. Shootings, sinkholes, now a bombing. The events are tragic and unfortunate, however, they seem also to give us the opportunity to show the best side of human nature in the midst of the chaos. I saw a quote, from Mr. Rogers, which I posted on my Facebook page, in which he talked about his mother telling him to watch for the "helpers" when seeing bad situations. There are always helpers there, she said, helping whomever is in trouble. That is what you need to focus on in the face of tragedy- how many people are stepping up and helping and how they outnumber the bad guys. I thought this was a wonderful point and I thought immediately of recent events and the people who went running towards the sound of gunfire or towards the sound of explosions to see what was happening and how they could help. Most people's natural instinct would be to run FROM danger, not TOWARDS it, but there are always every day heroes who defy instinct and logic and jump into the fray. Thank God for them! It is in hearing these stories of heroism that we are given hope for the future, and the reassurance that the vast majority of people on the planet are good, kind and loving people who genuinely care for their fellow man. When you see these "helpers" act during times of stress and devastation, and then witness the outpouring of love and care, in the form of actual physical assistance, financial assistance, and emotional encouragement  in the aftermath of a tragedy your faith in humanity is renewed, and you remember that the good guys outnumber the bad and that evil cannot triumph in the face of true goodness. God Bless the Helpers!

Relax!

One of my favorite shows to watch is House Hunters International on HGTV. I am fascinated by all the people, places and cultures, and find it interesting to see what kind of real estate you can get for what kind of money in different countries. It always fascinates me to see how much smaller houses and apartments are in most foreign countries compared to the U.S. We are pretty spoiled here! It is quite different from the regular House Hunters, which takes place around the country, but always in the U.S. Here people are expecting big rooms, big yards and all the amenities. One room many houses feature is the "formal" dining room. This is, in my personal observation, a wasted space for many folks. It is a sad commentary on the pace of our society today. I notice that often people who are moving from one country to another are looking for a "slower, more relaxed" pace of life. People have become so busy that it seems that they often feel like a hamster on a wheel and sometimes they just want to jump off. My question is this: why should we have to move to or vacation in another country in order to relax? Why can't we slow down and enjoy our lives here? Have we really allowed our lives to become so scheduled that we seriously can't relax? I understand the role of a vacation- a change of scenery, a break from work and routine, a chance to learn something new and experience something different. That's great, but here is my proposal: take back your "formal" dining room! Make family dinner a priority! Don't just save the dining room for special occasions and holidays! Turn on the lights, set the table and have family dinner! Even if you eat take out on the "good" china, the important thing is that you take the time to sit down and eat and talk and reconnect. Then, after dinner, take back the bathroom! Forget  "jumping" in the shower! Fill up that tub, put some bubbles in it and take a good, long soak- with a glass of wine, with a good book, or with your spouse! This is the perfect time of year to enjoy home and hearth. Take back your home! Cook dinner in that gourmet kitchen. Eat it in the dining room. Take that bath. Build a fire in the fireplace and sit in front of the crackling, popping warmth and play some board games as a family. Curl up on the couch and read a book. Take back your house and your life! Don't let the outside world constantly dictate the pace of your life! Slow down and enjoy the simple pleasures! Don't wait until "things slow down" instead take hold of the wheel and take a turn into Restville. Do it today! You can thank me later...when you're happy and relaxed!