Recently, I took a vacation with my husband and kids, my parents and my brother and sister-in-law. A very nice vacation, one that we take annually to the beach. My dad does not like to fly, so my parents, the kids and I drove. 600 plus miles one way. When you take a road trip like this, you get to observe a lot of humanity. I discovered that there is no vacation from stupidity. Selfishness either. It would seem that there are an awful lot of people who think they are the only ones on the planet. You know what I'm talking about. The person going 55 in the high speed lane, causing traffic to slow and forcing everyone to pass them on the right while they continue to plug along, glancing constantly in their rear view mirror as if they can't believe you are there, then looking down at their speedometer. Guess what? I don't care how fast you are going! I'm going faster, so get out of my way! I don't care if you are going 100! If I come up behind you and I'm going 110 GET OVER! Of course there's the guy who rides the left lane no matter what, never looks in any of his mirrors and is completely oblivious as to the existence of other life on earth. I'm really not sure which one is worse, but I want them both out of my way! Then, when you go to the supermarket there is the person who stops their cart in the middle of the aisle and proceeds to stare open-mouthed at all the items on the shelves. Looking overwhelmed and perplexed. Smack in the middle, so no one can pass on either side. Again, Mr. or Ms. Oblivious has no clue that there are 3 other folks in the aisle attempting to maneuver their carts around their cart. A polite "excuse me" gets you a startled jump. You mean to tell me there are other people here? How alarming! I arrived at the beach, ready for some sun and fun. Carefully picking my spot and paying for my umbrella and chairs, all is looking good. Until Mr. Rude arrives and plops down right in front of me. Excuse me, Mr. Rude, but I do not appreciate having to crane my neck, straining to see the surf around your big fat Georgia Bulldogs lawn chair. I paid to see the ocean, not your sunburned backside. Right next to me is Buffy the teenage chatterbox who proceeds to talk loudly on her cell phone for the next 45 minutes. Excuse me Buffy, but OMG! How about next time you bring your BFF WITH you so I can at least hear both sides of this most scintillating conversation! Next to Buffy, we have shiny white bikini teenager who thinks digging a huge hole big enough to fit her whole body in is a fascinating pastime. The poor beach goer who stumbled into the hole and almost broke her ankle about half an hour after you took your shiny white bikini self off to polish your toenails did not find it nearly so fascinating. Look, I'm not saying I'm perfect, and we all have days when we catch ourselves with the "I'm the only one on the planet" syndrome. All I'm saying is please strive to be at least somewhat intelligent and thoughtful while here with us on planet earth- there's a few billion of us out here with you.
WELCOME TO PLANET EARTH, NIMRODIANS!
No comments:
Post a Comment