Happy 4th of July!

SIMON SAYS

Do you realize how lucky you are to be an American? The freedoms and quality of life we enjoy in this nation are quite amazing, and we should be thankful every day. But, we're not. Truly, we carry on with our business each day taking so many things for granted. Like a child who thinks that everyone lives just like they do, we don't even stop to think what folks in other places live like, we just trip merrily along doing all the important, necessary and occasionally exciting things that comprise our lives.
How spoiled we are really hit me the other day at the grocery store as I was scanning the cereal aisle looking for a particular kind of cereal. Suddenly, I was quite overwhelmed by the number of choices laid out before me. I thought to myself "there are people in the world starving, and I am here trying to decide which of the gazillion types of cereal we're going to eat this week. What's wrong with this picture?!" So, I started counting, just out of curiosity, and do you know that there were approximately 63 different kinds of cereal?! Are you kidding me?! And that's not even counting generic versions. That means we can have a different kind every week for a year and still not have tried them all! No wonder I see people in the grocery store wandering the aisles looking bewildered, and frankly, in the male population, downright frightened. We should be scared! 63 choices, and that's just the cereal aisle! While there are people out there wondering where their next meal will come from, if  they will have one, we're stuffing our faces with cocoa crispies. AMERICA- WE ARE SPOILED ROTTEN! I remember when I was a kid, a priest talking to us about a missionary trip that he took to Africa. He was on a bus, eating a banana. He threw the peel out the window, and watched in horrified amazement as a dog and child ran up and started fighting over the banana peel. He said that was when it really hit him how poor and hungry these people really were. We really don't understand how fortunate we are. Even our poor are much better off than a lot of folks in other countries. I was inspired to look up some information to see statistically how we compare with the rest of the world. I'm not just talking about what we would consider to be poor countries, but countries that you would probably consider "on par" with us. Now, I am by no means saying that money is everything, but you must admit, you like having more rather than less of it, don't you? Did you know that the 2011 median income in the U.S. is $46,326? Now, consider this: according to 2007 numbers, here is the median household income for some other countries:

Italy: $16,866
Japan- $19,432
United Kingdom- $25,168
France- $19,615
Spain- $18,391

Are you feeling lucky yet? Now, consider, that the 2009 poverty level guideline for a family of four in the United States was $22,050.00. Compare that to the numbers above. If you're still not feeling lucky, how's this for a statistic: the average family in Uganda brings home $320.00 a year. Yep, that's right, $320.00. You probably spend that on going to the movies. Or, if you chose, you could buy about 80 boxes of cereal with that money...but you only have 63 different kinds to choose from, so you'll have to eat the same kind a few weeks out of the year. You poor thing!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!
GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Welcome to Planet Nimrod

Recently, I took a vacation with my husband and kids, my parents and my brother and sister-in-law. A very nice vacation, one that we take annually to the beach. My dad does not like to fly, so my parents, the kids and I drove. 600 plus miles one way. When you take a road trip like this, you get to observe a lot of humanity. I discovered that there is no vacation from stupidity. Selfishness either. It would seem that there are an awful lot of people who think they are the only ones on the planet. You know what I'm talking about. The person going 55 in the high speed lane, causing traffic to slow and forcing everyone to pass them on the right while they continue to plug along, glancing constantly in their rear view mirror as if they can't believe you are there, then looking down at their speedometer. Guess what? I don't care how fast you are going! I'm going faster, so get out of my way! I don't care if you are going 100! If I come up behind you and I'm going 110 GET OVER! Of course there's the guy who rides the left lane no matter what, never looks in any of his mirrors and is completely oblivious as to the existence of other life on earth. I'm really not sure which one is worse, but I want them both out of my way! Then, when you go to the supermarket there is the person who stops their cart in the middle of the aisle and proceeds to stare open-mouthed at all the items on the shelves. Looking overwhelmed and perplexed. Smack in the middle, so no one can pass on either side. Again, Mr. or Ms. Oblivious has no clue that there are 3 other folks in the aisle attempting to maneuver their carts around their cart. A polite "excuse me" gets you a startled jump. You mean to tell me there are other people here? How alarming! I arrived at the beach, ready for some sun and fun. Carefully picking my spot and paying for my umbrella and chairs, all is looking good. Until Mr. Rude arrives and plops down right in front of me. Excuse me, Mr. Rude, but I do not appreciate having to crane my neck, straining to see the surf around your big fat Georgia Bulldogs lawn chair. I paid to see the ocean, not your sunburned backside. Right next to me is Buffy the teenage chatterbox who proceeds to talk loudly on her cell phone for the next 45 minutes. Excuse me Buffy, but OMG! How about next time you bring your BFF WITH you so I can at least hear both sides of this most scintillating conversation! Next to Buffy, we have shiny white bikini teenager who thinks digging a huge hole big enough to fit her whole body in is a fascinating pastime. The poor beach goer who stumbled into the hole and almost broke her ankle about half an hour after you took your shiny white bikini self off to polish your toenails did not find it nearly so fascinating. Look, I'm not saying I'm perfect, and we all have days when we catch ourselves with the "I'm the only one on the planet" syndrome. All I'm saying is please strive to be at least somewhat intelligent and thoughtful while here with us on planet earth- there's a few billion of us out here with you.

WELCOME TO PLANET EARTH, NIMRODIANS!

Life before 11 a.m.

One morning this past winter, my husband, who always takes our son to school, rolled over at the ungodly hour of 7:30 a.m. and said "I don't feel well. You are going to have to take Jackson to school." I stared at him, wide-eyed and uncomprehending. Then, as my brain registered his words and processed them, the world stopped spinning on its axis. This could not be happening! You see, I am NOT in any way, shape or form, a morning person. I never have been and never will be. Early for me consists of having to actually be up and present myself somewhere by noon. So, my husband's words were some of the scariest he could utter. However, like a good  wife and mother, I dragged myself out of bed, slapped on some makeup so as not to scare anyone I might encounter, though I couldn't imagine who that would be at the crack of dawn, and stumbled to the car with my son in tow. As we made our way out into the cold, gray morning, I was shocked to see other cars on the road. With people in them. Going places. Seriously?! Why would anyone be out at this hour?! It suddenly made me realize why there is a Starbucks on practically every corner. These poor folks who have to be out here actually functioning at a somewhat coherent level on a regular basis are going to need all the caffeine they can get! I even saw a couple of people that I knew. You mean to tell me they do this and they have never told me?! They never asked for an award, a pat on the back, maybe even a brass band parade?? I most certainly would have given them all of the above just for their gumption and bravery in facing the world at such a frightening hour.  I returned home, still stunned, to report to my husband all that I had seen. He simply laughed at me and informed me that this happens ALL THE TIME! AMAZING! So, here's to you my morning warriors! Kudos to you and keep up the good work, so I don't have to! If you need my help with anything, feel free to call me, and I will meet you somewhere at noon!

STARBUCKS FOREVER!

This multitasking is killing me! (Maybe literally!)

I have something to confess. Something that probably even some of my closest friends don't know about me. Perhaps my family does, but I'm not sure they even know. I am a serial multitasker. I do laundry while I make dinner. I talk on the phone while I bake cookies. I check email while I watch my soap opera and open mail. I fold laundry while I bathe my kids. I dust furniture and Swiffer the floor at the same time. I put my makeup on at stop lights. I paint my toenails while I play cards with my son. I change a diaper and put my shirt on at the same time, while talking on the phone with my mother. I beat eggs, toast toast and make pancakes simultaneously. I read books in the bathtub. I mean, God gave us two hands for a reason, right? The other day, I was opening mail, in the bathroom, while doing my business, when I thought: "What on earth am I doing?! Have I lost my mind? Can I no longer even answer the call of nature without doing something else? This has gone too far!" I know other women are like me- women who are wives and mothers, and like it or not, multitaskers. We have to be, or we would never be able to accomplish all that we do. I notice that my husband does not seem to have the same compulsion to do multiple tasks at once. Except, perhaps, for watching television and scratching himself at the same time. To be fair, he definitely multitasks at work, and he's darn good at it. However, when he hits the threshold of our home, that comes to an immediate end. For us women, that is not an option. Whether we work outside the home or not, we are expected to go 100 miles per hour doing multiple things at once all day long. And, come to think of it, often into the night. Motor on until it all gets done. The problem with this is, it becomes so engrained in us that we don't know how to relax. We don't know how to stop multitasking. We are always thinking of new ways to accomplish more- we even check our email and catch up on our reading while we're having a "relaxing" day at the spa. (Which we squeeze in between our lunch meeting and our son's baseball practice.)  We have all seen stories in the news about the rise of stress related illnesses in women. High blood pressure. Migraines. Irritable bowel syndrome. Ulcers. Diseases that for years were mostly the problem of the males of our species. I don't know about you, but this is one arena that I am not interested in equality. Stop the ride, I want to get off! I, for one, am going to start slowing down, enjoying what I'm doing without thinking about what I have to do next, and DEFINITELY not doing tasks while on the toilet! Now, I have to go, because I have laundry to fold and cookies to get out of the oven before I put the kids to bed.

GIRL POWER!